The Confident Coach – Melida Cohan – ep 72

Mostafa Hosseini  0:01 

All right. Welcome to the confidence for entrepreneurs. My name is Mostafa Hosseini. And today, we’ve got a topic that is like to the core of our purpose during this interview in our during this episode, we’re going to go over how to reduce your overwhelm, how to boost your confidence as a coaching business owner, and as a coach and consultant, how to expand your business and how to set up and streamline your processes for your business. Overall, my guest today is Melinda Cullen. Welcome, Melinda.

Melinda Cohan  0:29 

Hello there.

Mostafa Hosseini  0:31 

And we’re talking about how to be a confident coach. So I’m really excited about this conversation and hang out until the end of this episode, I’m going to share with you the link to download Melinda’s book, the confident coach, you could get that for free until Monday. Let me do the proper introduction Melinda and then we’re going to dive into a very interesting conversation.

Melinda Cohen is a business systems expert helping coaches get over the tedious task of running their business and focus on what they love that act the actual coaching of amazing clients. She has worked with 1000s of startup coaches since 2004, sharing the value of strong business systems and processes. Her goal is for coaches to turn their passion into profits.

And to make that possible, she created the coaches consults, offer, develop the coaching, business system training and coaching program. And now she has published her book, the confident coach, and welcome Melinda.

Melinda Cohan  1:35 

Thank you so much. I’m super excited to be here.

Mostafa Hosseini  1:38 

Great to have you here. How’s your day going so far?

Melinda Cohan  1:40 

So far? It’s going well, I mean, launching a book. It’s my first book. So that is I it’s pretty darn exciting.

Mostafa Hosseini  1:48 

That is exciting. I love what you’re doing there. And we’re gonna dig deep into it. And where do you log in from?

Melinda Cohan  1:56 

I am located in Virginia, in the Blue Ridge Mountains and beautiful southwestern part of Virginia. Very

Mostafa Hosseini  2:05 

nice. So let’s dive right into it. Melinda, what is your story?

Melinda Cohan  2:10 

So I, so many entrepreneurs that I encounter, like they really want to be entrepreneurs, I never wanted to be an entrepreneur, I was very happy being an employee never wanted to have my own business. And when I got started in coaching, because about 20 years ago, now, I, I had started as a hobbyist, and I just fit it around my life because I loved the safety and security of my paycheck.

And long story short, I got fired from that job, I realized I did not want anybody else in control of my future like that, just kind of in that moment’s notice. So I’m like, Alright, let’s do this hobby thing. I think I can make it a business. And started my coaching business had zero idea of what it meant to have a business but I geek out on systems, processes efficiencies, like I love all the stuff behind the scenes, to make it all work so that you can get out there and like do whatever you have to do. And so that part came naturally for me.

So I quickly built my business and got out there had a blast in six months had a full practice pay. I was just giddy. I was like, Oh my gosh, this is amazing. And I thought all coaches experienced that. And I quickly learned that that was not the case.

Mostafa Hosseini  3:34 

Absolutely. So what do you do now? And who do you serve?

Melinda Cohan  3:37 

So coaches, when I first got started, I had my success. And then I had this moment, I’m gonna kind of go woowoo for just a little second. I had this moment driving down the road, where I heard I started hearing, like bits and pieces of a message as if, like my friend that was driving was telling me and and I heard this phrase eliminate their burdens and distractions, help them live their full potential. And I didn’t understand what all that was.

But I quickly learned that with coaches. They are really all entrepreneurs. They’re great at the thing they do. But they’re not great at running a business doing that thing. And so I was like, oh, wait a minute. I love that part. So I’ll help them remove those burdens and distractions so they can do what they love. So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 17 years. Through our software, like you mentioned coaches console through our trainings and programs and events and retreats and now through

Mostafa Hosseini  4:38 

my book. Love it the confident coach like that that title could not be any closer to the title of and the purpose. Yeah. So what have you noticed about coaches and other service based businesses since the beginning of the pandemic and how they’ve been impacted through all this

Melinda Cohan  5:00 

It has been interesting when, when the pandemic hit, and we abruptly all kind of went into that. Raise Enos of the world, there was a divide, that I was noticing. And those coaches that were organized, had their business kind of operating at a certain level, they were in a place that they could look at the situation, not through fear, but through how do I stay relevant? How do I serve my people in this weird time, and they could take advantage of opportunities or make pivots.

And then they were those that were just kind of winging it and kind of going by the seat of their pants, and they couldn’t they freak out. And they’re like, ah, and they shut down, stopped, the fear got the best of them. So I noticed that kind of divide. And that’s where I really leaned in last year and did a lot of free trainings gave away free reads. It’s like alright, coaches, I truly believe that we are coaches and all service entrepreneurs, we are the people that others are turning to, to help figure out how to navigate what’s going on.

And so those that had their shit together behind the scenes, forgive me, they could keep moving forward in the midst of the uncertainty in the midst of we don’t know, and they could keep asking the question every day, how can I show up for my people? How can I serve my people, and they can make those adjustments, sometimes small adjustments, sometimes big pivots. But those were the ones that were able to maintain, and many of them thrived and had their best years ever.

Last year, not because they were exploiting people in bad situations, but because they legitimately had the solution that people needed to help them navigate whether it was through relationships or lost careers, or, you know, people questioning Wait, I don’t want to be in that crappy career anymore. What do I want to do, and turning to coaches to help them navigate that or just whatever area of life, they were turning to coaches and other service practitioners, to equip them with what they needed. And it’s still happening.

It’s like the pandemic just put the pedal to the metal and the gas accelerated it and it’s still going on right now.

Mostafa Hosseini  7:26 

What did you notice was the diff. So I mean, some people you had their stuff together, and they could quickly change and pivot. Some people were like, lost for there, maybe still lost? What do you think were like? The difference? What are some of the main things that you notice, like the people that got it, this is what they had the people that were still lost. This is these are a few things that were missing.

Melinda Cohan  7:53 

The people that got it understood, even before we went into the pandemic, I write about something in the beginning of my book that I call the results revolution. And they understood coming into like the year, year and a half before I really saw this as a big trend. It’s about what do I need to do as a business owner?

What do I need to do as a coach to make sure I’m delivering results for my prospects and on delivering results for my clients, and making sure that they had those things in place, whether it was free resources, or trainings, or certain things in place for prospects to really strongly, deeply nurture their audience and establish that trust factor? Or once their clients hire them? How do they ensure that their clients get results?

Right? It used to be, you know, when I first started in the coaching industry, we were still really in that information age, as long as I had information, I was great and felt good about myself. And then we went into the experience age still kind of there. It’s like, well, as long as I have an awesome time, while I’m learning and transforming, that’s fine, whether I get results or not, okay, whatever. But now the new buyer that’s out there, they are demanding, they don’t have time, with everything that happened, especially with the pandemic and all the other global injustices that have been going on. They don’t have time to make investments and not get results.

They’ve got to make investments, they’ve got to get immediate results. And they have to experience a transformation and those that understood that over the past year, they were able to ask, I think it’s one of the most important questions that we have to ask almost every day. What are my clients? What are the challenges they’re experiencing today?

That they weren’t experiencing three months or six months ago? And the person that could ask an answer that question could then put things in place to serve their prospects and clients in dealing with that?

Mostafa Hosseini  9:49 

Loving and I’m just paraphrasing answer the question of what are they going through and what are they need today? Thinking about that and coming up with the solutions and answers that question will help you understand Identify what actually is happening today, what do they need now? So you can actually serve them to the best of your abilities.

Melinda Cohan  10:07 

Yeah. And I would tweak that. If I find when when we ask the question, what do they need? Sometimes we don’t know that answer. And that gets us stuck. Okay. But when we asked the question, what are their challenges? And just identifying the the questions, the challenges without having to figure out a solution just yet, identifying the challenges will trigger our creativity that will help us come up with solutions we may not have thought about before.

Mostafa Hosseini  10:37 

Love it? i One thing I could add to that is like, you can actually ask them, What are your Yeah. Yes, like scratching your head, trying to figure it out. Ask them what are your biggest challenges? And they could tell you,

Melinda Cohan  10:50 

I did that in at the end of I think it was the end of April, middle of April, we had been in the pandemic, maybe about a month or something like that, you know, I’m seeing people freak out. It’s like, this is something. And so I called a an emergency session with all of my clients at the time. And I was like, alright, gang.

Tell me, what are you struggling with today that you weren’t two months ago, or three months ago? Like what’s going on? And we just, they liked it because they felt held. They felt like they had a container that they could go to not that we were solving problems? Yeah, but it’s like, okay, I’m not alone. And I got to hear firsthand what was running through their minds. And it was very fast. It was nothing like I thought it was gonna be. So it’s very informative. So absolutely ask them.

Mostafa Hosseini  11:40 

Yeah, I, I hate to guesswork. That’s stressful. Exactly. So cool. Confidence is obviously a very big part of running a business and being a coach or consultant, and helping people. And a lot of times, with all the difficulties that are happening, the last thing that we feel as confident Can you touch on this, please?

Melinda Cohan  12:05 

Yeah, usually the last thing we feel as confident like the number one word I hear from our people is I just want to feel professional. And it’s interesting, because once they do feel professional, like, ooh, now I feel confident. And when I really observe them, they’re putting, it’s kind of a combination, they’re putting their confidence in external things. The end, usually, they’re brand new in their business, or they’re in the early years.

So they don’t know what they don’t know. And they equate that the not knowing, or having to research what does work and doesn’t work, getting feedback and doing things differently. They equate that with not being confident, and I think confident, courageous, they’re very similar. It’s like, well, I can be confident, and a hot mess. At the same time, I may not know what’s going on. But I’m committed to taking the next step, I’m committed to my cause I’m committed to my clients, I’m the committed to the work that I’m here to do, so that I can help those that need what I have to offer. And when I put my attention on those I’m serving, then I can feel confident, even in my uncertainty.

Mostafa Hosseini  13:18 

Love it. Like? So let me ask you this, do we need to be confident first? Or that confidence comes later?

Melinda Cohan  13:31 

That is a great question. I think confidence builds over time, I don’t think we have to be confident first, I think we have to be willing. First, I think that’s a little distinction to make, we have to be willing to step out and attempt, try research, get feedback, do differently, and let that be part and know that that’s part of the journey, like mistakes are going to happen, quote, unquote, failures are going to happen. It’s part of the learning and growing process.

Our job is we want to minimize the trial and error and do it as smartly as possible, right. But we have to be willing to go out there and do it and be willing, you know, two of my superpowers are vulnerability and transparency. And the more that I can embrace vulnerability, the more I can be transparent. When I know things or when I don’t know things, the more confident I feel in the spot that I’m in, even if it’s in an evolutionary spot in that moment.

Mostafa Hosseini  14:35 

Amazing, amazing. Now, I think the next question might might help and be a good good. Next step to what I just asked. So in your book to confident coach, you talk about two critical questions to answer that helps coaches feel confident about putting themselves out there. And it’s really needed on a daily basis. Yeah. during or after, or before a pandemic, it doesn’t matter, like coaches must be confident when they’re trying to lead and you know, help someone. Can you talk about what what those two critical questions are? That how confident put themselves out there?

Melinda Cohan  15:15 

It goes back to what we were saying earlier that question of, you know, why are what the first question that we said earlier is? What are the challenges that your people are facing today that they weren’t facing? And you know, before the pandemic, we could vision out and say, Where do I want to be one year or three years or five years from now, the pandemic change that it’s like, where do I want to be in three months?

Or six months or nine months? Like really shortened that? So when will you have to ask that first question? What are the challenges my clients are now struggling with that are keeping them up at night, they have to be the urgent challenges not just going to ancillary challenges in the background, but like, it really keeps them up at night. And then the second question, which I think every coach has to always be asking themselves, is, why are your services a necessity? Because so often, well, way back in the information age, even the experience age, when coaching, if we looked at the the evolution of the coaching as an industry, it’s always been a, Oh, that’d be nice to have, it’s been seen as a luxury, right? For so long, only the elite or the well to do would make the investment into it, it wasn’t, it was just a nice to have.

And now today, especially with the pandemic, it is a necessity, like our services, no longer a nice to have, it’s a necessity. But a lot of coaches are still in that mindset of well, you know, my services, they’re a nice to have. And so when you go to have a conversation with somebody, and I say coaches, but I mean all entrepreneurs, right, you could plug in any niche, any entrepreneur into this dialogue. And so often, when we go into that enrollment conversation, where we’re trying to enroll those clients in the background, it’s like, we know, this is a nice to have, if they sign up, great, gosh, I hope they sign up.

But if we don’t see our services as a necessity, nobody else will either. And you have to really be clear in Why are your services a necessity, and you’ve got to like do that exercise, I call it a stair step exercise, like during the pandemic, I sat down and was journaling this at the beginning of it. And I was like, Okay, why are my services and my services, our, you know, helping coaches with their business, organizing their back end with the streamline software, like helping them clarify their niche and packages and pricing, like, why is that necessary in a global pandemic.

And I just kind of fast forwarded through this, like, well, if I don’t help them, they’re going to not feel confident in their business. If they don’t feel confident in their business, they’re not going to put themselves out there, if they don’t put themselves out there, all these people that are getting, losing their jobs, struggling in relationships, all this stuff, they’re going to continue to struggle, the world is going to keep being a shit show. But when we can, when I could do what I do, and help the coaches, the ripple effect goes, and every entrepreneur needs to know what that is for them.

Because when you know that it changes your energy. And it changes how you show up in your writing, whether it’s from marketing or blogs or articles, it changes the energy and how you show up in your enrollment conversations, changes your energy about everything about decision making. And so it has to be Why are your services and necessity

Mostafa Hosseini  18:46 

love it. So the two things, the two questions that helped them have coaches become more confident was what is the challenge that your your prospects or customers are experiencing? And you know it, you’re aware of it and you could go around and communicate with them with their current challenges, fears, frustrations, and, you know, help them fix those issues. And then the next really critical and strategic question was, Is your SIR is your service or product in necessity?

Yeah. And then what do you need to change? Or what do you need to maybe? How do you position it? True, right? To show that this actually is a necessity given that it is a necessity and I think I’m thinking you can’t go to people and Bs them and say this nice to have is a necessity. Yeah, I mean, well that from miles away, yeah,

Melinda Cohan  19:38 

they’ll sniff that out in a hot second. i That’s not my kind of business. I like being authentic and, and I think it truly reflects that and and it also reflects who we attract into our spheres as well.

Mostafa Hosseini  19:55 

Love it. Very, very important now, to serve our clients in ways that does work best for them? Even during these times, difficult times and whatnot, in your book, you talk about doing two opposing things at once, can you talk about the two opposing things that people must do?

Melinda Cohan  20:15 

Yeah, and this one’s kind of tricky. It’s like that simultaneous, we have to stay steady with what works and what’s proven. And we have to innovate. And I say you have to do those two opposing things at the same time, because we can’t forget what works. It’s like, okay, this is proven, this works. This program I’ve been offering or this package and service that I provide, or the way I talk about my Cert, whatever it is, it’s proven it works. So keep doing that.

 And at the same time, we have to always be innovating. If you’re not innovating, you’re going backwards. And when something like the pandemic, or and I keep talking about the pandemic, but you could pull from a number of global issues that have happened over the last year, year and a half, two years. When you have something like that, that accelerates the chaos in the world. This is even more important.

And you have to question how you’re innovating your offering. So for example, one of the one of the coaches that I was talking to last year, you know, during the pandemic, she was working with children. She had been a tutor kind of introduced coaching, and she was working with the kids. Well, school stopped. And the parents were like, well, I don’t need a tutor anymore, because we don’t have school. So I’m just going to kind of get through my homeschooling myself. And all of a sudden, she’s like, Oh, crap, I don’t have a business. But because she asked, What are my clients urgent challenges?

Why are my services an urn necessity? Those two questions allowed her to also innovate, and to innovate and say, You know what, I’m going to stop serving the kids. For right now, the parents are freaking out, because they don’t know how to homeschool. But now they’re stuck with their kids. And now they have to, they’re responsible for their kids. And so now I’m going to tutor the parents and how to homeschool. So she launched a new package.

Now her business is still full, right. And now she’s bringing back in the tutoring because the kids are going back to school. And so it allowed her to innovate and think outside the box. So you can’t forget what was working. And you have to innovate, you got to do both at the same time.

Mostafa Hosseini  22:34 

Absolutely. And I think in a business, there’s always things that happen, not necessarily just a pandemic, like you may lose someone a loved one, there is, maybe you lose a major customer, or maybe you lose a, an a key employee. And there’s all of these critical situations happen where you lose your momentum, you lose your shit.

And next thing, you know, you’re like, you can’t operate. But if you have these innovation, and you have the systems in place, then you can move forward. And like, friend of mine, a friend of mine lost his dad a couple of weeks ago. But I mean, when you lose your dad, and you got a business to run, you got to have systems in place. Otherwise, you’re gonna take six months off, and you got bills to pay.

Melinda Cohan  23:24 

Right? Right. Well, that happened to me back in 2015, unexpectedly lost my mom, I mean, unexpectedly lost my mom. And if I did not have systems in place, and I also at the time, you know, I’ve been in business at the time for 15 years. So I had established a team. Without those systems and the team to manage it, I would have just shut everything down.

Yeah, because there’s no way that I could have paid attention to my business and that, but because the systems were in place, and they were nurturing my list and serving my clients, I was able to take three solid weeks to just deal with what was going on, give myself that space. And it’s and it’s not only when negative things happen, like one of our clients, she moved across country.

And you know, it took a hot month to shed to focus on selling their house and then buying a house and then moving getting your daughter into school systems like all this stuff. So it can be positive things that happen that interrupt your life. And if you’re not prepared, it pulls you out of your business, and your business stops if you’re not in it. Yeah,

Mostafa Hosseini  24:35 

you’re absolutely like it could be maybe getting married, having a baby buying a new house, right? Even growing and scaling and all sudden getting a whole bunch of customers and now you’re like I can’t serve all of them. You think you can but once they come in, you’re like I have a hard time delivering.

Melinda Cohan  24:50 

Well, and that’s one of the things it’s interesting you say that it’s one of the things that we see a lot is usually when when entrepreneurs want to grow off And I find you when they come to us, it’s not because they’re no longer good at the thing that they were doing, because they’re still great at it. They’ve often invested a lot into so many different marketing programs and strategies. And still, they’re like, it doesn’t matter what I do, I’ve hit this ceiling, and I can’t get past it.

And it’s because they haven’t uplevel their systems in the back end. So the way they were doing everything in my book, I call it the range of acceptability, how you used to do it that worked. As you grow and scale, that same thing may no longer serve you and you’ve got to optimize that system, that process so that you can scale up otherwise, you hit a ceiling, and you’re like, why can’t I get past X number of clients? Why can’t I break past X revenue? It’s usually a systems issue.

Mostafa Hosseini  25:52 

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. What are the seven success structures that every coach must implement? I think this is such a good connecting question to what we just talked about, about the systems that we must have in place to be able to handle it. So what are your what is your secret sauce to these seven success structures that we must have?

Melinda Cohan  26:23 

Yeah, this is, I talked about this in chapter seven in the book, and I give them all to you. And it’s these are the I’ll tell you those in just a second. First I want to give context is, you know, some people, when they start their business, they’re like, I want to be a six figure business owner. Great. That’s an awesome goal. Some are like, I’m going for seven figures, awesome. Some, when I started my business, I was like, Look, I just want to replace my previous income, I was making $50,000. At the time, I’m like, if I make $50,000, in my own business, I’m gonna be so happy.

 Some people, they’ve retired, they’re doing coaching as a business, but it’s fitting around their lifestyle. And so they just want a modest income that’s consistent, that can support their lifestyle, but not pull away from it. So whether you want a smaller business, whatever that is, if you want consistent income, you have to have these seven things in place, just, you know, the smaller you want to be, you just do them simpler, the bigger you want to scale, you just have to optimize more. It’s all it is. But every business has to have these otherwise, it’s just a hobby.

And so the seven systems, the seven success structures that you’ve got to have in place behind the scenes, you have to address branding. And branding is not your business card or logo or website. I actually believe you don’t need any one of those things to have a successful business. But that’s a whole nother discussion. But branding is more about your messaging, understanding the challenges, the people you love to work with, what challenges they face, what results they’re looking for, how your services are in necessity, what are those current challenges that are changing for your people? That’s, that’s your branding?

And then how do you reflect that in your messaging, when you’re reaching your people. So you’ve got to have that in place, you have to list building your list is your number one asset, not you, not your services, while they’re awesome. And that’s where the transformation happens. If you don’t have a list that you can nurture relationships, communicate, invite them to make a decision to work with you. You don’t have a business, your listings, you’re number one.

 So you have to have processes systems in place behind the scenes. So that that can be consistent and easy. And you don’t have to struggle with that or push a boulder up a hill just to find new people to talk with. Then you have converting and enrolling, you’ve got to convert them from being on your list to enrolling into your services packages or offering exquisite client support. So branding, list building, converting, enrolling, supporting your clients, helping them get those results, referring getting referrals from those people that have worked with you or your strategic referral partners, because it’s the number one way to build a service based business.

And then leveraging and this leveraging this one depending on how big you want to grow or the degree you want your impact to reach, you may or may not do much with leveraging is going from one to one to one to many How do you leverage your time? How do you leverage your content? How do you leverage your resources, so you can free up your time while working with more people and making more money. So those that really want to have a big impact and movement will do a lot with leveraging. Some people are like no I’m good. I just want some one on One client’s, and that’s that’s what I want my business to look like. And that’s fine too.

But those are the seven success structures and you’ve got to have that organized behind your scene, you can’t wing it, you can’t fly by the seat of your pants, if you do, you’re going to really hit a cap, but you know, five, six clients, maybe 10 at max. And if that’s fine for you, I would just be careful, because fine becomes the enemy of success.

Mostafa Hosseini  30:26 

Love it. So here are a few things that you talked about branding. And I love the fact that you talked about you don’t need a logo or website to do branding, my favorite because I always say my favorite companies are like multi multi size 789 10 figure companies that are hidden with no website, no logo, no nothing, but they own half the world.

Melinda Cohan  30:53 

You don’t, it becomes a tangible excuse that keeps us stuck and prevents us like it’s a really interesting, it’s a dangerous situation. Because when you start working, and you spend 356 months on a website, and all these iterations, you’re like, Well, I’m doing the things I’m supposed to be doing. So go me it’s like, no, you’re actually wasting time. But okay, we’ll get to other stuff in a minute.

Mostafa Hosseini  31:18 

Absolutely. My favorite person that I always bring up as an example is Warren Buffett, if you check the website for Berkshire Hathaway, it looks like a fricking Word document. There is no graphics, it’s just a bunch of text. And so that’s my favorite, then you talked about list building and how your list is your number one asset and without it, well, basically your business doesn’t exist.

Then we talked about converting and enrolling, like, how do you actually step by step, take your list members and your contacts from your list into a paid customer talked about exquisite client support? That may that’s could be a very nice differentiating factor. I mean, a lot of people say they do customer good customer service, but in reality, they don’t.

Melinda Cohan  32:07 

And let me let me just comment on that if I can interrupt really quickly. So you know, when coaching first started, a coach just had to show up to the session.

And yes, you do coaching, and that was it. And then it was up to the client to do whatever they were going to do. Now, you know, true coaching is about the client, really discovering what they do and and as a business owner in today’s world, and this result revolution that we are in, we have to bring certain things to the table into that relationship with our client, to help make sure we’re setting them up for success so that when they show up, they’re getting results. It’s no longer just a feel good kind of thing.

It’s like nope, I know you’re gonna get results. When you show up. I know what’s going to happen when you do the work and I support you in it. So customer service. That’s why I call it exquisite customer service doesn’t have to be time consuming. Most of its automated, but it does have to exist to support your clients in those ways.

Mostafa Hosseini  33:06 

Absolutely. I could not agree more. So then you talked about referring getting referrals, which is like the, like low hanging fruit. And it’s like the easiest thing you could do if you do a good service, and you have good customer service. And you could just it’s always like a question of, Do you know someone that we can help? And they’d be like, oh, yeah, you got a company?

Melinda Cohan  33:28 

Yeah, you just have to ask question. Yeah, and that’s one of the things that we teach in this system. I talked about it in the book, and we go into in our program, we automate the asking, because coaches and entrepreneurs, either they forget, because they’re on to the next thing, or they get kind of tripped up and triggered by it.

It’s like, well, let’s automate it, so that you’re getting a referral from every client every time. And there’s a simple way to do that. I go into that in the book. But you just have to ask, you’re right. It’s like, it can be that simple. We just forget it’s, yeah, it’s interesting. So

Mostafa Hosseini  34:01 

to get to get Melinda’s method on how to simply ask and receive a referral, download the book for free, and I’m going to share the link here in a minute. And then next thing you talked about leveraging going one to many leveraging your time, content and resources. Do you talk about that in the book as well? Yeah, I

Melinda Cohan  34:21 

do. I go into that in the book. Beautiful.

Mostafa Hosseini  34:23 

Love it. Love it. I mean, that’s where a lot of business owners get stuck. And that is they tried to do a lot of things themselves. And what happens is they get stuck.

Melinda Cohan  34:33 

Yeah, yeah. Well, I talk about when we’re when it comes to time management, self management. I talked about the four ds, this is also in the book and the four DS whenever you’re looking at anything that has to be done. Look at it and do you need to delegate it. Most entrepreneurs when they first get started? They can’t or don’t know how that’s fine.

They probably need to do But until they learn that, process that thing, but eventually you might need to delegate it. Do you need to duplicate it, all those redundant tasks that you’re doing in your business, you’re doing the same task over and over for this client, that client that prospect this prospect, those should be duplicated.

And by that I mean automated, you should automate those tasks. You keep them personal with certain ways that you do that you don’t D personalize it with automation, you keep the personalization and you automate it. Or you need to dump it like you just know you’re not supposed to like if you’re scrolling through Instagram, and Facebook and LinkedIn, and you’re just, you know, you’re wasting time, like just dump it, get that off of your plate.

And then the last one is do it. And really the tasks that you should be doing are the tasks that only you can do because of your unique skill. Set your talent, your ability. So you have to really look at what are those four areas, so you know where you put your time and attention on?

Mostafa Hosseini  36:03 

Got it. Melinda, give me one second, I need to fix the window here. The light is like killing me here.

Melinda Cohan  36:09 

Yeah, sure. Yeah. So while he’s gone, I talk about the four DS in my book and, and the answers to those four questions will change as you scale when you’re in your first year or two. The way you answer the four ds will look dramatically different from when you get to that leveraging stage.

So always review that exercise as you’re evolving to help you be mindful of where you should be putting your attention and how you can leverage your business.

Mostafa Hosseini  36:35 

So what are the four DS delivers your business again, real quick, like an overview?

Melinda Cohan  36:39 

Yep. So delegate it, duplicate it. And that means automate. Duplicate means automate. Dump it. It’s a time suck time waster. And just do it. Those are the four.

Mostafa Hosseini  36:53 

Do it, love it, Delegate duplicate, dump it. Just fricking do it. So you touched on it on a set on an important thing, and that is people scrolling on Instagram and social media.

Melinda Cohan  37:11 

Yeah.

Mostafa Hosseini  37:12 

Do you have a tip for people that waste hours upon hours on social media, clicking liking and doing useless stuff on how to stop that?

Melinda Cohan  37:24 

Well, I, here’s I can tell you what I did and what I do. First of all, I think it’s important as a coach, I always want to know what’s behind the pattern. Because you can often change the action unless you change the pattern that’s underlying it. Right?

So I first had to be like, Why am I spending all this time? Just Mindlessly scrolling, commenting, liking sharing, like what am I what I when I got truthful with myself. It’s what I alluded to earlier, it’s, well, I feel busy, because I’m not really sure what I should be doing. So this feels like busy, so I feel productive. And I can pat myself on the back and, but it’s not effective or useful. Right. And so when I got clear on that, it’s like, okay, I feel busy.

And it’s like, oh, the real issue is getting clear on what I need to do when I sit down to my desk. So let’s solve that first. And then that pattern will begin to dissipate. So that was the first thing I had to do. And then the second thing, I had to put time parameters, it’s like, you know what, I’m gonna spend X amount of time in the morning, and then I’m gonna spend X amount of time in the afternoon and whatever I can do in that time, and in the beginning, I actually had to set my alarm on my phone, so that it had a Dean and I was like, Oh, wait, I’m done. Okay, let’s move on.

And I just had to train myself so it’s like, okay, I’m intentional. I’m only getting it this amount of time whatever I can get done. I’m doing after that. I’m moving on. I just had to get it

Mostafa Hosseini  39:03 

funny Dum Dum solution. If you train your dog to bite you every time you pick up your phone, you’re on Instagram. You can do that too. You won’t do that right hunger is to break the bat pattern

Melinda Cohan  39:17 

there’s that option

Mostafa Hosseini  39:20 

but I love it it’s like finding the underlying why behind what we’re doing that maybe we’re looking for attention maybe we think we’re cool by liking and sharing useless stuff. And you know on at the end of the day what like you said it perfectly finding the why behind it helps you identify and fix the problem. Because if we just I mean if I set up an alarm to just say aren’t didn’t go off aren’t get off Instagram Mustapha. And then 30 seconds later, I’m in there and I’m still doing the same thing. So and you

Melinda Cohan  39:57 

don’t even realize that you’re like, oh, I

Mostafa Hosseini  39:58 

don’t even know I have This happened, right? Yeah, I got a weekly reminder on how much time I spend on my phone.

Melinda Cohan  40:06 

Exactly. It’s embarrassing. You know, the other exercise I did totally off topic. But I went in, and I don’t have it now, because we’re in the middle of our launch. So my whole team is dinging me on all kinds of things. But I went in, and you know, all those red dots that are the notifications on all of our apps that it’s like, you’ve got three messages here. And what you know, I went in, and I turned off all the badges, yep. So that I never saw those red circles.

And then in my calendar, I’m like, Okay, I’m going in, I’m checking stuff here. And I’m checking stuff at this time. And then I would go into those apps, and I would catch up or respond. And I did that for a month. And it was one of the freeing most freeing things I’ve experienced. So now I turn those back on when, like, right now we’re in a launch, and there’s a ton of activity going and people need stuff in real time. And so now they’re on but that’s an interesting exercise.

Mostafa Hosseini  41:02 

Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, that’s a great thing. I turned off all notifications for email. Yeah, my phone is on silent most of the time. And when the phone rings, I don’t want to be bothered. Yeah, I want to I want to check the phone.

Melinda Cohan  41:19 

Exactly. You be the master of your devices. Don’t let them control. Because they do try

Mostafa Hosseini  41:25 

to control you. Yeah, they spent billions of dollars on figuring out how to control you. So yeah, yeah. So Melinda, you’ve been? You’ve been in the coaching industry, since 2004. And what do you what do you see as the biggest barrier to, to confidence as business owners and success?

Melinda Cohan  41:50 

There’s a few of them that that tie together. And when I think like, it’s never been easier to start a business, that’s kind of a double edged sword. Like if somebody wants to start a business, like you can go and do that, like so quickly, right now, today. And that’s good. And it’s also not good. One of the barriers to entry is because there is so much out there with all the technology with all the leaders and teachers alike, it is hard to cut through the clutter.

And the bright, shiny object is just getting brighter and brighter for fear of I don’t know what I’m doing, what am I going to miss. And so it’s while it’s never been easier to start a business, I have always been one that likes to learn from somebody who’s farther down the same path that is like, Okay, I don’t like trial and error. It’s too expensive. It’s not fun, I don’t enjoy it.

So I love where you are, I want to get there, how’d you get there, tell me, I’m gonna learn from you. And then make it my own along the way. And that’s, I think that’s just an amazing way to build a business to leverage on those that have come before learn from their mistakes, and still make it your own. But you do it from a place of leverage to learning.

You’re not just blindly starting from scratch or reinventing the wheel. And so that’s a barrier is when there’s this mindset that entrepreneurs get into if they don’t, it’s a villain that creeps up that says, I have to know everything right out of the gate, or I call it fraudulent Frank, that villain. It’s like who am I? Right? And doctors, I mean, they go for years studying and learning their trade before they go out and practice it. And entrepreneurs think Well, I’m a month into it, I should know everything about being a business. And so we have to have some compassion for ourselves.

And so have leveraged learning. And it’s I mean, it’s one of the reasons, you know, 17 years ago, we created that technology, because I think it’s insane. Entrepreneurs are usually the creative type. They’re not the the logistical, detailed systems process type. And so they usually don’t like technology. And so that’s why we built the coaches console, to have one technology that does what you need behind the scenes, instead of you having to go out and figure eight 910 technologies, learn them, manage them, pay for them, work them. And so how can you simplify your journey when you’re getting started?

Mostafa Hosseini  44:28 

Absolutely. I like I love the way you put it together and getting stuck in to do it. Do it myself mindset. Yeah, without learning from someone that is already doing it. Like you said, it takes so much more time, money, energy, resources, brainpower, and like, if Melinda knows how to do something, and she has taken 20 years to get there. It’s going to probably take me 20 years to learn and be where she is at where she could probably teach that within teach that to me within a year or two. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Or even more

Melinda Cohan  45:12 

or less actually, right? If

Mostafa Hosseini  45:13 

you imagine how much time and money and frustration and learning has gone into putting the pieces together. And you could just go up to a coach or a consultant or someone that is already already doing good, like a mentor or some sort and say, Would you be open to show me how this is done? Yeah. And they would just show you love it. Love it, love it. Tell us about your book, please. What’s happening this week.

Melinda Cohan  45:45 

So it this book has been 11 years of a desire. I’ve attempted to write it twice and failed in those attempts. I just got so overwhelmed. It was like the fire hydrant, just like how can I everything that I know how can I get it out to these people. And this year was the year it was it just clicked at the beginning of the year wrote the book in less than nine months, written, edited, and now it’s out there. And so yesterday was the birthday of it.

And to celebrate that we are giving it away for free for four days. So you have until Monday to get that version. And I just want like I said, I believe that coaches and even though it says the confident coach, you could put entrepreneur, it just wasn’t a nice alliteration. So I called it the confident coach. But you could put the confident entrepreneur, any service based entrepreneur practitioner, what is in here works for any of those businesses. And so where we’re putting it out there, because I truly believe that we are the leaders that people are turning to right now.

I mean, when we came into the pandemic, we all kind of hit that wall at the same time and had to figure that out quick. Now that we’re trying to get out of the pandemic, everybody’s doing it at different paces. It’s you know, some countries are open, some countries aren’t some organizations are requiring this, some aren’t. Some schools are doing certain things, some families, some people have different paces and ways and things are comfortable, which makes it even more wild and unpredictable and even more chaotic. And so having the guidance from us, is what’s required.

 And so I hope that when you get your hands on this book, you have that stuff that you need to feel confident in the backend so that you have that sexy back end working for you. So you can feel confident putting yourself out there and doing the work that you need to be doing that people are looking for right now.

Mostafa Hosseini  47:50 

Absolutely gang and to get a copy of Melinda’s book, a free copy until Monday, October Give me one second Monday, October 4, fourth, October 4, you get it for free. And to get it go to confident coach book.com forward slash confidence. So the address is confident coach book.com forward slash confidence, get a copy of the book.

And here’s the deal. gank. Without confidence, you would have a hard time waking up in the morning. Without confidence, you would have a hard time sharing your message without confidence. You would have a hard time prospecting, talking to people promoting your message. Getting on a coaching call, you would have a hard time converting people into actual paying customers. Right? If you show up on a coaching call, and you’re not confident Guess what? They’re gonna fire you before you know it. Right? Yeah, well, this this person is not confident in what they’re offering and what they’re trying to get me to do.

And they’re actually make me insecure about who I am. I need to get out of here. Yeah, right. Yeah, it’s essential. You’ve got to be a confident coach. You cannot show up and be like, Oh, I’m not sure. And you know, I don’t know what I’m doing. Right?

Melinda Cohan  49:13 

Yeah. See, a lot of coaches I call it the Oh, crap. Now what syndrome is when you when you don’t take the time to learn what it means to be a business owner, right? We all have on our entrepreneurial hat. We’re all talented at the thing we love that comes naturally.

But if we don’t take that off and put on the hat of the business owner and say, What do I what systems do I need in my place? To help me find and get my clients and support them on a regular basis? Then we’re in that oh, crap. Now what like somebody signs out as like, Oh my God. Now what do I do? And now you got to make sure that behind the scenes, you got to scramble. And now you’re probably just kind of throwing something together, which is going to make it a scrambling energy to your clients. We’re going to overwhelm them because it’s not simple and streamlined.

The more you overwhelm them, the more they don’t show up, the more they change their mind and not work with you, like you said and stuff. And so that when we’re missing stuff behind the scenes, and when they’re when we’re in that, oh crap, reactionary mode, we can’t be confident. You can’t be reactionary and confident at the same time. When you have stuff organized behind the scenes to support you. Now you can be proactive. That’s where professionalism happens. That’s where credibility happens. That’s where confidence exists. You can still be in the early stages, you can still be new, you can still be growing and developing. But you have to be proactive in doing it. Not reactionary.

Mostafa Hosseini  50:42 

Absolutely. Love it. Love it. Love it. So again, go again, go to confidence. Coach book.com, forward slash confidence to get a copy of the book. Now, let me ask you some personal questions, if that’s okay. Sure. What’s a new thing you have tried recently?

Melinda Cohan  51:00 

A new thing that I’ve tried. Ooh, a new thing. Oh, my gosh. Well, this is

Mostafa Hosseini  51:10 

an interesting anything life personal business.

Melinda Cohan  51:12 

Yeah, the low nothing’s come into my mind a new thing. Usually, my husband and I do a lot of traveling and skiing. And so we did none of that this last year. We just stayed at home all the time. We’re usually out and about, I mean, I’m an introvert, but says my husband, but we love being out and doing stuff.

But for the last year, we’re like, No, we’re just going to be happy little introverts in our home. So that has been fun. Just being here and not being engaged. And all these activities are going on all these trips. And all that has been really nice.

Mostafa Hosseini  51:48 

Maybe a book, maybe a food, maybe you change something about business or life or at home, or,

Melinda Cohan  51:55 

well, the new thing is my book writing a book and launching a book never done before. So that right

Mostafa Hosseini  52:01 

in the middle of it, we can see it

Mostafa Hosseini  52:09 

isn’t that the case? Most of the time?

Melinda Cohan  52:12 

It’s like, oh, yeah, this book.

Mostafa Hosseini  52:18 

Speaking of books, what are your top two or three favorite books that maybe you have recommended most of the time or have made a massive change in your life?

Melinda Cohan  52:28 

Yeah. So one book that I absolutely loved when I first started, I still love it when I first started my business, because I’m a Systems geek, is the E Myth by Michael Gerber. Love that book, just the idea of just because you’re good at something, doesn’t mean you’ll be good at running a business. So you got to pay attention.

I mean, that was I just, I could talk about that one all day. So that’s one of my favorite books. Another book that just came out earlier this year. By one of my good friends, is called Risk forward. Victoria Lavon. She that book is amazing. So it’s a new book in my library, but I’ve known her for years. So I’ve been around the concept and have been experiencing it not in book form, but in friendship, relationship colleague form. So that’s another great book.

And then what’s another? Well, the other book that I’m reading right now, I’m rereading it. So I’ll share that one is sacred success, by another sacred success by Barbara standing with Barbara Stanny. Hudson. She, I read it, gosh, probably five years ago, maybe. And I just started rereading it again, it’s just like another evolution and where I am in my business and my life. And it’s like, what does success mean to me now? Because it’s different from what it was when I read it five years ago. And so just revisiting that question.

Mostafa Hosseini  54:05 

Love it. What’s what is one advice that made a massive change in your life or business?

Melinda Cohan  54:15 

Well, I’ll share the first thing that just jumped in my head. When I started with my first coach Kate, who then became my business partner and coaches console. She said, Oh, what what piece do I want to share with you? She told me it’s kind of a two parter as an entrepreneur, because like I said, I’ve never been an entrepreneur, I didn’t really want to I was like, how do you start a business?

And one of the things that she taught me was, even though you’re going to be working from home, right at the time, I just had a tiny little table on the side of my living room, and that was called my office. And she said, even though you’re going to be working from home, you still set your hours and you still get dressed to go to work.

And I was Like what she’s like, just as if you were having to go to a job, you wake up, you get ready and you say I start my day at this time I end my day at this time. Of course, there’s flexibility, but you have those working hours, and you get dressed, even though you’re just walking from one room to another in your house, you still get dressed to go to work. And so every day I do that. And that brings a whole level of confidence that then you can exude in everything you do.

It’s just one of those subtle little things. That I thought that’s interesting. But it’s made the biggest difference over the 20 years I’ve been doing this.

Mostafa Hosseini  55:35 

So to me the underlying message, and that is discipline. Yeah. And feels like, Could you briefly touch on how discipline gives us confidence? I mean, you just talked about it. But

Melinda Cohan  55:48 

yeah, discipline, it actually, discipline comes as a result of commitment when you are committed, right. So when I heard that voice in my head all those years ago that said, you’ll eliminate the burdens and distractions, you’ll help them live their full potential. Like when I heard that voice, I pulled a napkin out of the glove box of the car I was in. And I started writing all these random words and phrases down. And so I had that napkin. And it wasn’t months later until I realized what that meant.

And I started the business. But I framed that napkin and I kept it in my office. So every time I walked to where my office was in my house, I saw that and that was just in that day, I made the commitment to here’s what I’m committed to. And from that spawned discipline, what do I need to do to make sure I can be effective today? Have fun today, in honor of that commitment. And so then, at all levels, whether it was something as silly as set your hours, get dressed to go to work, or is it mindset issue? Or is it understanding how to talk about things in my business?

Or is it taking that big gulp, and doing my first webinar and being like, I’m going to screw this up, I’m quite sure of that. The here we go anyway, let’s do this. And so that it’s the commitment that leads to the discipline, but as an entrepreneur, it’s that discipline that will either have you loving your boss or hating your boss, which of course, is yourself, right? And it’s that discipline that helps you create the structure that breeds freedom.

And a lot of times entrepreneurs when I start talking about structures and systems and processes, they’re like, no, no, no, do not put me in a box do not confine me, it’s why I left, my corporate job is like, Well, no, no, you don’t have to be confined by it. But you do have to leverage systems and structure to breed the freedom that you want. And that’s where discipline comes in at all levels.

Mostafa Hosseini  57:55 

Absolutely. I don’t know who said this. But there’s a there’s a saying said, discipline brings freedom. Yeah, it looks pretty limiting, but it actually brings freedom.

Melinda Cohan  58:09 

Yeah, and it’s just a little bit. It’s understanding that the structure and the freedom, the organization that you need in place, otherwise, you’re reinventing the wheel. Otherwise, you’re flying by the seat of your pants, otherwise, you’re uncertain doubt. And that’s when that door creaks open and all those villains can rush in, and it just sabotages your confidence in a hot second.

Mostafa Hosseini  58:34 

Love it. Love it. What advice would you give your 20 year old self?

Melinda Cohan  58:40 

My 20 year old self while my 20 year old self never wanted her own business or her own job? She was very No way. My I would tell my 20 year old self let your light shine. Don’t be afraid to let your light shine. It’s not as scary as you think it is.

Mostafa Hosseini  59:02 

Are you like reserved and

Melinda Cohan  59:05 

I was I kept myself invisible for a long time. I used I hid behind perfectionism for a long time so that if things were perfect, people really didn’t notice me. I just they just kind of glossed over. And so I was hidden, reserved, quiet. My fireworks were on the inside.

 And suddenly, it’s taken me a lot to really be visible and put myself out there. There’s nothing better than having your own business to do that. But let your light shine, because it’s not as scary as you think.

Mostafa Hosseini  59:44 

Love it. Now my last question, Melinda if you had a Facebook ad or a Google ad or an ad that everyone on the planet could see. What would your message be? For the people

Melinda Cohan  59:57 

woohoo. This is the mantra I’ve had for the last year, year and a half. So it’s, it’s, there’s two things I’m gonna share too with you. So one is, build a better business, be a better coach, build a better world. Built to be a better coach, yet be a better a better world and build a better world.

When you’ve got that confident business behind you, you can bring all of you to the work you do. And in that your ripple effect will be massive, and you’ll build a better world. So that’s the first one. And then the other one on a more personal nature, at the root of all of it. Love yourself.

Mostafa Hosseini  1:00:46 

What’s the story behind that?

Melinda Cohan  1:00:49 

The more that you can love yourself in your awesomeness in your messiness, and the times you fall down, and the times you triumph and everything in between, you have massive compassion for yourself, when you have massive compassion, it’s easier to take steps into the unknown, or to keep taking steps when you do know things in a humble way.

But it all starts if you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to commit to a passion, like having your own business and the work you’re here to do. And if you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to be of service to others.

Mostafa Hosseini  1:01:28 

Love it. I mean, if you don’t love yourself, you just said it perfectly. You cannot service other than you cannot love people the way they deserve it. And yeah, that’s that’s a deep, deep, deep one.

Melinda Cohan  1:01:41 

Yeah, my mom gave me this plaque early in my business. And it says it’s a rare person who can take care, take care of hearts while taking care of business. And I think those things go hand in hand. And I believe the root of all of that is love yourself.

Mostafa Hosseini  1:02:00 

Amazing. Melinda, this has been an absolutely amazing conversation. Yeah. Like we could go on for hours and hours and talk more about business and life and, you know, personal topics that you’re interested in, is there anything that you would like to share that we didn’t talk about before we wrap up,

Melinda Cohan  1:02:23 

do the work, we don’t have time to mess around, do what’s necessary to get yourself organized. So you can feel confident and putting yourself out there. And by the way, when you go to competent coach book.com forward slash confidence, not only will you get a copy of the book, for free in the next few days, but I also have other resources, the coaching business roadmap to success getting more referrals in the next 15 days.

I love providing value to equip you on your journey. And so we’ve got other resources that are coming for you as well.

Mostafa Hosseini  1:02:54 

Absolutely. For what I know, in the book, there’s just there’s way more than just the book, there’s a lot of resources that they get once you get the book and they get to tap into a lot of more resources there as well. Melinda, thank you very much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom and sharing your book for free until Monday, gang if you’re watching or listening, go to confidence coach book.com forward slash confidence.

The link is in the description of the show and it is in the comments and social media. So make sure to grab that. If you know a coach, a consultant or a business owner that could use a bit of confidence. Please share this episode with them. Maybe tagged them as a comment on whichever channel you’re watching. If you have any questions for me or Melinda, pop them in a comment on whichever channel that you’re on and we’ll get back to you.

What else and please make sure as usual life to show subscribe and by liking you help us spread the message to more people that need confidence in their business in their coaching practice and or personally. Thank you for joining us. This was a wonderful episode. I really enjoyed it, Melinda. So thank you again. As usual. If you have any questions, please do reach out. And we’ll go from there. Have a great day.

Melinda Cohan  1:04:15 

Bye everybody.